I love the first of the month. it’s hopeful. a fresh start. a new month to do the things I’ve promised myself I want to do. and October is such a wonderful month of the year, packed full of some of my favorite childhood memories. ☺️ it feels weird/perfect that this will be my last ever October without a little person of my very own here on earth.

today we took two very different photos.

we took the first at my parents in our normal jiffy. I said it was great, but after sitting on it for a bit, I realized I wasn’t happy. not because of the set up, I mean, we look like a content pregnant couple in the suburbs, it’s almost comical how traditional it is. but it didn’t feel like it represented my heavy heart today. so we tried again this evening. I’m much more pleased with the result.
the second portrait we took is quiet and dark. no, it’s not a perfect or cheerful beginning to our October, but it feels as right as Matthias dancing with me in the park today.

it’s okay to have hard days.