the wall

three years later: finally started on the wall I’ve been wanting to recreate from our lubbock apartment. listening to “the name of the wind” (the same book I listened to when creating this the first time) with a glass of wine, Matthias playing a game behind me, Eliot sleeping in our room.

a mix of sheet music from my great grandmother, some sheet music from my parents, pages from a family bible that was falling apart, and a Norman Rockwell book I adored. all things that meant something to me❤️

93665909_2980202998704841_661712271126298624_o.jpg

ethan & matthias

some of my very favorite people & their little tornado came over for dinner tonight. I love that Ethan & Matthias are friends. they didn’t meet until December 2015... anddddd we had eloped in October 2015... that could’ve been a disaster. I’m so grateful they love each other. most days I think Ethan actually likes Matthias more than he does me... and well, that’s ok. 🙂 glad to be friends with family.

messy spaces

how long should it take to set up the space you want to make messiest? shouldn’t the messiest space be the quickest to be unpacked? ah. probably. that hasn’t been the case here. I am so slow to unpack my art things and so quick to complain about not doing the art I want to. I finally started unpacking boxes recently and I feel so *myself*. finding journals recently was fun. and finding things to paint with, draw with, craft with... ahh. it feels. so. right. I feel so right.

okay, now that everyone else has stopped reading because of my wordiness... I have to say what a blessing it is to work from my phone. I try not to say it too much because that gets annnoyyyingggg. holy cow. this is like what I did as a professional wedding photographer but 100x better because it’s without all the weekends away 😭❤️ and praise Jesus, because ALL I want is to be home with my baby lion. thank. you. God. for. YL.

being a wedding photographer was my DREAM. if I did that, I made it. ...and then I did it. and then I didn’t want to do it any more. isn’t life crazy?

94143976_2999136703478137_5157950118393020416_o.jpg

April 19th, 2020

Cozy at home & happy to be at the start of fresh week. 🖤 this weather is perfect for our walks, but I’m finding the heavier Eliot gets (he’s 15lbs now!) the hotter I get with him in the ergo. We’ll see how Houston summer goes😂 made some oatmeal cookies this evening that turned out okay. No raisins or chocolate chips on hand so I had to get creative.

April 17th, 2020

I’ve finished the bulk of writing Eliot’s birth story and it has been a relief. The further I’ve gotten away from it, the more I realize is slipping away. It was the most beautiful, frightening, horrible, spiritual experience of my life and it ended with my son in my arms. The most precious moment- and watching Matthias cry. Ahhh. I’m so grateful I took the time to write it down.

PS. please pretend you don’t notice the horrible quarantine haircut I gave Matthias. Thanks. (Yikes on yikes.)

You can find eliot’s birth story finished here:

April 15th, 2020

Family dinner was canceled, but there ended up being a bunch of us there anyway. 😅 Also, had to get another photo with Byron after that Byron series 💞 of course, he happens to be invisible here. Oops.
And there’s Blackie mindlessly hanging out in the background. The dog that is ACTUALLY the family’s 😂

93721554_2989050844486723_3429399882547331072_o.jpg

April 12th, 2020

Easter Sunday. Made Mimi’s crawfish chowder last night to have today with family. And it was seriouslyyy YUM.
But first, this morning we had brunch with the married siblings. All the most yummy & beautiful brunch foods by Hannah Joy, of course. She is one of the most thoughtful hostesses I know.
I gave Matthias a haircut yesterday. The first one in quarantine, the second one EVER. And yep. It’s bad. Yikes.

93303544_2980201962038278_8337697171365167104_o.jpg

Journals

Over the last couple of days I’ve been organizing the second bedroom and I’ve been through so. many. boxes. I found a bunch of the journals I’ve filled over the years and it seemed right to get a photo of this new little life next to pages of my life leading up to his birth. Someday, if he ask to, I’ll let him read these. (Even the really embarrassing ones.)

April 8th, 2020

Oh, wow. These days as a mama of one. He doesn’t crawl yet, so even with this recent sleep regression, I’d say this is easy. And I thought... I thought I’d be giving up... everything. But it doesn’t feel like that. It feels the world has opened even more. I can’t wait to experience life through his eyes. (I love you, Eliot Lionhart.)

balance + kindness

Balance. Kindness. Learning how to navigate motherhood & working from home. Being a mama brings me joy. So does my work. Motherhood makes me want to cuddle all day. My work desire makes me feel like I’ve accomplished “nothing” if that’s what we do. He’s 13 weeks old. It’s ok to cuddle. It’s also ok to want to get up & chat with my community & work from my laptop & phone. Balance. Kindness. Learning day by day.

IMG_4602.jpeg

April 6th, 2020

First sleep regression and man, this week has been different & hard because of it. So very thankful for family, education, God’s grace, and the miracle of sleeping in.
Unrelated: picked oils around the house to fill our new shelf with. stopped the ice cream guy today who turned out to be a snow cone guy. bought ice & just added Ningxia Red, because, of course we did.

three months

Our monthly photo. Eliot is exactly 3 months old. He’s also exactly 13 weeks. On exactly 5 years from the day Matthias & I meet. It was Easter Sunday in 2015 and I was shooting my first wedding as a full time wedding photographer and he was the best man. (6 months later we were married.)

IMG_4424.JPG

March 29th, 2020

Another day of “I don’t love this photo, but I know I’ll be happy we took it later on.”

(Something I have on repeat in my mind: Don’t wait to feel pretty. Don’t wait for the perfect time. Just keep taking photos. And stop thinking these are about you.)

IMG_0940.jpg

Grateful for: Matthias. Eliot. All the churches able to livestream their services for families at home. And specifically our church, Lakeside Bible. ❤️