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Accurate photo of our faces on Monday nights when we watch births with our Bradley method birthing class peers. Ouch. (What am I even doing with my hand? That wasn’t on purpose. Making a fist is a part of my tensing habit I guess?🤣)
I’ve attended many births, but man, nothing is graphic like a close up of a vagina on a large screen tv.
intentional day of rest. (& laughing at Matthias’ shirt. 🤣 mr. can’t-stay-up-past-midnight)
alllll the yummy + not all of the artificial yuck in the traditional coffeeshop syrups
Read morehome just after midnight after my last wedding of 2019.
I didn’t know how I would feel after this last wedding. pregnancy-tired is it’s own thing. and then there is wedding-tired... but it’s 00:15 & I am not physically miserable. in fact, I feel great. cheers to that! (we’ll see what tomorrow has to say about this whole shooting-for-eight-hours-at-30-weeks-pregnant...)
Matthias kindly carries my heavy pelican case for me after long days. so even though he was asleep when I made it home, he came out to lug my equipment in. very thankful for that.
can it count as a self portrait if there is so little of me in the photo? I’m telling myself so... I mean, yesterday’s photo was just our hands. so this is sort of that again. just with a whole lot more of Matthias. 😉
he often plops a pillow in my lap & lays on me for head rubs. sometimes just for the comfort of touch. sometimes for an achy head after a long day. sometimes to talk with my undivided attention. sometimes to fall asleep, like he is now, while I do other things on my phone.
I’ll always treasure the many days we’ve had together with four easily available hands to love & serve each other with. I’m also excited about having them more full, even as inaccessible as that may make them, as we have babies. maybe we won’t get as much opportunity for head rubs, but trading that for baby snuggles seems fair.
“and we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done.” - feist
🖤
edited to add: a friend pointed out the resemblance to the cathedral.
I’ve melted into the floor.
it seems to be that all of the photographers i know can pick up any new thing & turn it into gold.
Read morehonestly, looking back over years of journaling, my dreams really haven’t changed all that much.
except recently, when i wrote down how i pictured my life & things it included entering motherhood, i think i surprised myself when i included a blog on the list.
Read morepost family dinner portrait with ambient light from the front porch & Matthias’ favorite magnolia tree, planted by his big brother when they were children.
today was really good. nothing extraordinary on the schedule or anything like that, but Matthias & I actually spent time together nuzzled up talking before he went to work and that really started my day off so nicely. typically, because he’s up so early, we don’t have time to enjoy our mornings together, but he stayed a bit later & we spent at least half an hour just enjoying each other’s company before he was out the door around 6:30 or whatever it was this morning. a rare little perfect memory I won’t soon forget.
I also got to see our darling son on an ultrasound again today. he’s perfect! duh. measuring 30 weeks & not breech like he was when we checked last time. and now we’re at the point in pregnancy where I get to see my amazing midwife every other week & I love her dearly, so I’m excited about that.
there were other things about today that were good for my heart... like this dreamy weather & connecting with some dear friends after what’s been far too long apart.
and I’m hopeful. and grateful. I have had some dark days in the last 7 weeks, but today wasn’t one of them. I am excited about where we are in this precious, quickly passing season of life, & I’m thrilled about what lies ahead with parenthood, celebrating year four of marriage, my business, and everything Matthias is working towards right now. 💕
the most lovely pair of handmade clay earrings by a texas artist
I wanted to order nearly everything she creates, but I landed on “the nat” in opal
the set has the most beautiful iridescent flecks of gold, white, tiny bits of blues & blush hues. it is is very subtle in it’s color & bold in it’s styling.
tired in all of the ways. tired enough to be totally okay with this being our self portrait for today. because, real life. you know what I’m learning? it’s hard to be thoroughly grateful AND anxious at the same time. that’s pretty cool. seeking out/working on gratefulness every day.
Monday’s we have Bradley method birthing classes in Houston & we typically grab a hotel to make the night easier. I say typically, but we’ve missed like half the classes so far, soooo... (life, man...) Instead of me driving down to meet Matthias right before class (since it’s near his work), & then driving both our cars at 9pm the hour+ ish back home, JUST for him to turn around to drive back to Houston at 5:30am, having a hotel gives us freedom to r e s t before and after it. 😭💕
we actually had time to sit and breathe, even had dinner and talked for while this afternoon beforehand. Our intention was to get an after dinner portrait, but we forgot the camera & said we’d do it later. And then later turned into 10pm. (to be fair, we didn’t make it back until 9:30 after class anyway.)
When he reminded me we should take it, I recommended we just get it right here. “Is it because you don’t want to put pants back on?” ... yes. Yes, it is.
this is our 22nd day in a row doing self portraits. proud of ourselves for not missing any days! 😂💕 it’s been easier than I anticipated. I’m learning so much about my cameras self-portrait capabilities! glad to be doing this before our little love makes it into the world.
unrelated: I don’t understand why people blur out license plate numbers on the internet. aren’t they public information that can be easily seen when you’re driving around. what am I missing?🤔
brunch, friends, family, champagne (including alcohol-removed champagne), & perfect weather.
a modern marriage on a Friday night?
When we are together, even if we’re working, we just want to be near each other. This is a moment during what would’ve/should’ve been dinner time for us. Working & watching. Normally if he works late, it’d be working & working, but I am spent. He passed me whatever yuck he’s been dealing with and I was up all night. I thought he was just sick from exhaustion, but obviously it was a bit more than that since it’s contagious.
Ahe asked me to play the piano for him tonight since I haven’t played in.. gosh. six weeks? Basically I haven’t touched it since we moved so suddenly out of our place. He joked he’d stand over me and swoon and I could take a photo. Obviously we didn’t go that route, but I treasure the moment we did get.
Matthias went to bed before me tonight... and, well, that’s actually rare these days. It used to be that we would cuddle in bed for an hour or two, then I would leave (or pull my laptop into bed) to edit & work until the wee hours of the morning while he slept. I preferred working late, while he has always been the type that wouldn’t even stay up past midnight to study for a test. He said his brain shuts off. He just doesn’t do late nights like that. Last January when we left for our big trip, part of our commitment was to get more in sync in with our sleeping. So we did. And gosh, it has made a huge difference being on each other’s schedule. It’s not always the case that we go to sleep together, but it happens more often than not these days, and I really love it. And you know, I don’t really miss the late nights like I thought I would.
But, like I was saying, tonight he fell asleep before me (not feeling 100%), and we didn’t get our photo before that happened, so I had to get, uh... creative. 😂 Sorry to all my feet-hating friends. I had to make this sooo quick because sleeping husbands don’t love having their feet uncovered, imagine that. We were laughinggg over photos like this earlier tonight, the ones with parents and baby feet specifically... are the babies under the covers?? can they breathe?? I have questions!!😂 If you don’t know what I’m talking about, sorry. But we had a good laugh about it and it was my inspiration for this photo 🤣
Due dates aren’t reliable, I get it. We’re guessing at when a new little person is going to make their way into the world & yeah, it’s a guess. But if we are to count on ours, then we’re eighty-four days away from meeting our firstborn son. It’s weird. I’m twenty-five years old, pregnant — in my third trimester(!), and we’re two weeks away from celebrating four years as husband & wife. When did this all happen? We’re like... all grown up.
a post walk photo. full disclosure, Matthias took off his comfy big red robe for this photo. I didn’t ask him to. but he did.
Matthias & I like to walk together. it’s nice because we can have the most important conversations, or no conversation at all while walking, and things are still being done. movement, togetherness.
it’s also important with pregnancy, so we’ve been diligent these few months to make time for it, even if that means walking after dark. it’s kind of romantic. mostly it’s nice to have a small activity together that is completely technology free. we try to stay phone-free at meals too, but that doesn’t always work out. walking though, there really isn’t a space for it. hand in hand or arm in arm, we’re on each other, intentional to share a pace. it’s an us-activity.
a tired mama. and a tired Matthias working. we literally pulled in the driveway after six hours in the car today and he went straight to this table to finish what he needed to do. I am so proud of him. he constantly proves when you want something, you work for it... even at the end of a long day following a very long week...😭🖤 we celebrated nana’s life with a service by her graveside this afternoon and it was perfect.
