It doesn’t matter what time we start our mornings, there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day for all we want & need to do! I hope that continues to motivate & excite us. There is so much life to be lived. So much to talk about. So much to accomplish. So many places to still see. A son to still meet. Ah. I’m so grateful for these days, crawling into bed exhausted, looking forward to the next to do it again. There have been seasons in life when that hasn’t been the case. When sleep was what I looked forward to because I lacked meaning. (+ depression adds another layer to this. If you’re dealing with it, find someone to talk to 🖤) Without the grounding of & direction from true, deeply rooted meaning & purpose, life can be unbearably hard. It doesn’t have to be that way though. There is more for each of us than grinding at work and living for the weekend. Books have played a major role in shaping my outlook on life and helping me out of my ruts. 😭🖤 I have recommendations if you are looking for places to start in your search for meaning.
35 Days of Portraits
i spent my drive time this afternoon & evening dreaming of what i imagine hanging in our home, & it’s not all perfect, smiley, well lit portraits.
Read more"Framily"
Who could’ve guessed that the “Mr. & Mrs. Cole” I grew up in church with would become my best friends as I entered adulthood & be such an influential part of our life & marriage.
Read moreOctober 25th, 2019
✨ two degrees done (both by him!), 6 months of vacationing overseas completed, our own little person growing, add to that: a full FOUR YEARS MARRIED ✨
happy anniversary, love 🖤
Anniversary Eve
my first true memory of him was when he asked my to dance that night.
Read moreHappy
Wednesday nights are family dinners at the Frost family home. Unfortunately, tonight Matthias missed the fun & chaos of the full table & conversations & babies & all the good things that happen when you get people you love into a room and around food. He’s working so hard on his dream & it makes the late nights worth it, but it’s still sad when he comes home late.
It was really nice to have some time talking with his parents tonight when he finally made it to their place & ate his dinner at nearly 9pm. This was a moment we were laughing about our budgeting habits with his mama. 🙈 It makes me so happy to have captured a genuinely sweet moment together after two long days apart.
BabIes & Stuff
Hannah Joy made me a baby registry today. I’ve been putting it off... and since we’re getting so close, it just needed to be done. (How am I 30 weeks pregnant??) Baby registries are overwhelming and complicated and... there is just *so* much stuff for babies. When I got to her home this evening and scrolled through it though, it made me laugh & nearly cry. It hit me again. We’re having a baby. A tiny person that is from Matthias and me. Our person. And he’s going to be so little and squishy and, oh my gosh, he *is* going to need stuff. Even if it’s just basics like diapers and some clothes. THANK GOD for sisters who make baby registries for the procrastinators.
And I finished Jenna Kutchers Pinterest Lab today. Dang, that girl can put out SO much content. She’s impressive. I’m inspired by her and so many other women who work their butts off from home to support their families. I have LOVED my career as a wedding photographer, but I am thrilled to be slowing that down for working from my laptop so I can do less travel, have more weekends at home, and just be present for motherhood in the way I picture will work for us & all that entails.
Birthing Class
Accurate photo of our faces on Monday nights when we watch births with our Bradley method birthing class peers. Ouch. (What am I even doing with my hand? That wasn’t on purpose. Making a fist is a part of my tensing habit I guess?🤣)
I’ve attended many births, but man, nothing is graphic like a close up of a vagina on a large screen tv.
October 20th, 2019
intentional day of rest. (& laughing at Matthias’ shirt. 🤣 mr. can’t-stay-up-past-midnight)
Last Wedding
home just after midnight after my last wedding of 2019.
I didn’t know how I would feel after this last wedding. pregnancy-tired is it’s own thing. and then there is wedding-tired... but it’s 00:15 & I am not physically miserable. in fact, I feel great. cheers to that! (we’ll see what tomorrow has to say about this whole shooting-for-eight-hours-at-30-weeks-pregnant...)
Matthias kindly carries my heavy pelican case for me after long days. so even though he was asleep when I made it home, he came out to lug my equipment in. very thankful for that.
Head Rubs
can it count as a self portrait if there is so little of me in the photo? I’m telling myself so... I mean, yesterday’s photo was just our hands. so this is sort of that again. just with a whole lot more of Matthias. 😉
he often plops a pillow in my lap & lays on me for head rubs. sometimes just for the comfort of touch. sometimes for an achy head after a long day. sometimes to talk with my undivided attention. sometimes to fall asleep, like he is now, while I do other things on my phone.
I’ll always treasure the many days we’ve had together with four easily available hands to love & serve each other with. I’m also excited about having them more full, even as inaccessible as that may make them, as we have babies. maybe we won’t get as much opportunity for head rubs, but trading that for baby snuggles seems fair.
October 17th, 2019
“and we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done.” - feist
🖤
edited to add: a friend pointed out the resemblance to the cathedral.
I’ve melted into the floor.
October 16th, 2019
post family dinner portrait with ambient light from the front porch & Matthias’ favorite magnolia tree, planted by his big brother when they were children.
today was really good. nothing extraordinary on the schedule or anything like that, but Matthias & I actually spent time together nuzzled up talking before he went to work and that really started my day off so nicely. typically, because he’s up so early, we don’t have time to enjoy our mornings together, but he stayed a bit later & we spent at least half an hour just enjoying each other’s company before he was out the door around 6:30 or whatever it was this morning. a rare little perfect memory I won’t soon forget.
I also got to see our darling son on an ultrasound again today. he’s perfect! duh. measuring 30 weeks & not breech like he was when we checked last time. and now we’re at the point in pregnancy where I get to see my amazing midwife every other week & I love her dearly, so I’m excited about that.
there were other things about today that were good for my heart... like this dreamy weather & connecting with some dear friends after what’s been far too long apart.
and I’m hopeful. and grateful. I have had some dark days in the last 7 weeks, but today wasn’t one of them. I am excited about where we are in this precious, quickly passing season of life, & I’m thrilled about what lies ahead with parenthood, celebrating year four of marriage, my business, and everything Matthias is working towards right now. 💕
October 15th, 2019
tired in all of the ways. tired enough to be totally okay with this being our self portrait for today. because, real life. you know what I’m learning? it’s hard to be thoroughly grateful AND anxious at the same time. that’s pretty cool. seeking out/working on gratefulness every day.
October 14th, 2019
Monday’s we have Bradley method birthing classes in Houston & we typically grab a hotel to make the night easier. I say typically, but we’ve missed like half the classes so far, soooo... (life, man...) Instead of me driving down to meet Matthias right before class (since it’s near his work), & then driving both our cars at 9pm the hour+ ish back home, JUST for him to turn around to drive back to Houston at 5:30am, having a hotel gives us freedom to r e s t before and after it. 😭💕
we actually had time to sit and breathe, even had dinner and talked for while this afternoon beforehand. Our intention was to get an after dinner portrait, but we forgot the camera & said we’d do it later. And then later turned into 10pm. (to be fair, we didn’t make it back until 9:30 after class anyway.)
When he reminded me we should take it, I recommended we just get it right here. “Is it because you don’t want to put pants back on?” ... yes. Yes, it is.
October 13th, 2019
this is our 22nd day in a row doing self portraits. proud of ourselves for not missing any days! 😂💕 it’s been easier than I anticipated. I’m learning so much about my cameras self-portrait capabilities! glad to be doing this before our little love makes it into the world.
unrelated: I don’t understand why people blur out license plate numbers on the internet. aren’t they public information that can be easily seen when you’re driving around. what am I missing?🤔
October 12th, 2019
brunch, friends, family, champagne (including alcohol-removed champagne), & perfect weather.
October 11th, 2019
a modern marriage on a Friday night?
October 10th, 2019
When we are together, even if we’re working, we just want to be near each other. This is a moment during what would’ve/should’ve been dinner time for us. Working & watching. Normally if he works late, it’d be working & working, but I am spent. He passed me whatever yuck he’s been dealing with and I was up all night. I thought he was just sick from exhaustion, but obviously it was a bit more than that since it’s contagious.
Ahe asked me to play the piano for him tonight since I haven’t played in.. gosh. six weeks? Basically I haven’t touched it since we moved so suddenly out of our place. He joked he’d stand over me and swoon and I could take a photo. Obviously we didn’t go that route, but I treasure the moment we did get.
Sleeping Together
Matthias went to bed before me tonight... and, well, that’s actually rare these days. It used to be that we would cuddle in bed for an hour or two, then I would leave (or pull my laptop into bed) to edit & work until the wee hours of the morning while he slept. I preferred working late, while he has always been the type that wouldn’t even stay up past midnight to study for a test. He said his brain shuts off. He just doesn’t do late nights like that. Last January when we left for our big trip, part of our commitment was to get more in sync in with our sleeping. So we did. And gosh, it has made a huge difference being on each other’s schedule. It’s not always the case that we go to sleep together, but it happens more often than not these days, and I really love it. And you know, I don’t really miss the late nights like I thought I would.
But, like I was saying, tonight he fell asleep before me (not feeling 100%), and we didn’t get our photo before that happened, so I had to get, uh... creative. 😂 Sorry to all my feet-hating friends. I had to make this sooo quick because sleeping husbands don’t love having their feet uncovered, imagine that. We were laughinggg over photos like this earlier tonight, the ones with parents and baby feet specifically... are the babies under the covers?? can they breathe?? I have questions!!😂 If you don’t know what I’m talking about, sorry. But we had a good laugh about it and it was my inspiration for this photo 🤣