at 9am paula called twice and I missed both of them. then she texted — can we have the appointment at your apartment? heck yes, of course! I apologized for missing her calls, got eliot up, and picked up our home while he followed me around undoing everything I was doing. emerson sounds great. we’re 31 weeks (as of yesterday) and he’s measuring 30. makes me nervous that he is measuring small, but paula says that’s normal and if I’m lucky he’ll do lots of growing on the outside. he feels huge to me and it’s hard to swallow that we have 9 weeks left. it feels like a lifetime away, really. this part of our life feels like it’ll always be this way, but I know we’re in such a short, special season and I need to soak it all up as much as I possibly can.

so many special, sweet changes have happened in the last year, two years even. I’m so grateful we started the daily photo project in the middle of our season of hardship and change. it’s so beautiful having so much documented and it makes my heart full. I was driving down 1375 today headed to stubblefield lake recreation area to meet the frosts for dinner (to celebrate tricia being on the last 20 miles of her journey) and I was smiling to myself just driving... driving (almost) alone, looking so absolutely normal on the outside, feeling so explosive on the inside. I feel full, inspired, content, just so glad to be right here, where I am in this season. I am happy and I know happiness is fleeting. so I’m soaking this up. basking in it like it’s the sunshine on my skin warming me a cool march day.

our life is good. I have so much to be grateful for. and this december, this time off... it’s been miraculous for my spirit. I’m enjoying more reading, cooking, and playing with eliot.

oh, and it’s christmas week!