A lot of snuggles in bed and playing together on the floor as a family today. We made caramel & chocolate covered apples after honey garlic salmon and broccoli tonight.
We voted, maskless
Grabbed a coffee from Flourish in Downtown Conroe and walked Lionhart with me to vote before lunch this afternoon. Happily surprised by all the faces I could see. Even poll workers were barefaced. Life, seeming normal-ish, even if it’s just for a bit. Wondering what surprises next week will bring.
Perception
Have you ever heard “your perception is your reality”?
The idea transformed me and taught me to be purposeful with my inner-narrative.
We can take some control in our life by being intentional with how we talk to ourselves about our moments, days, months, years...
Here’s one of my favorite ways to be purposeful with your perception: set an alarm at least a few afternoons a week and when it goes off, recall something from the last hour or hours, take that moment in time and expand it. You don’t need a physical journal, you can easily do this in the notes section of your phone.
As an example: 20 minutes on the porch with Eliot this morning.
Instead of it being a non-event just sitting on the porch watching Eliot play and wishing I could be “more productive”, my story, my memory of the moment— even in my own mind, even if it’s never shared— is: a cool October day, a slow few minutes with warm sun, some wind (which makes me miss lubbock a bit), wearing my favorite sweater, sipping a hot tea while I watch my endlessly curious firstborn find exciting things in the world, encountering little bits of life and nature for the very first time.
a moment I could easily forget or not pay attention to has then become a precious memory and made my world more beautiful in my own view. To change the world, you have to be willing to learn how to change your language and change how beautiful the world is around you— in your own eyes.
🦞 bisque
I want to bring value to this space. I want to have things worth saying and make an impression with my intentional posts and stories. But sometimes, I just want to share a moment from our life. These daily photos are a stretch for me, even after a year of doing them. I’m grateful to have a place to show up & keep these memories and that’s enough. In Galveston on a small getaway without Eliot.
The mask ordinance is stricter here, so it’s kept our trip pretty quiet. Last night we had the most wonderful mussels and lobster bisque at Saltwater Grill. We were going to have red snapper at Gaidos, but they wouldn’t seat us without masks, so we canceled our reservation. It ended up being a good thing because we were both so full on garlic bread & bisque 😂
Before heading back to the hotel we picked up an americano, latte, & small cheesecake and enjoyed dessert in bed after a few hours of digestion.
Five Years
in a lot of ways, our anniversary this year reminds me of 2019... pregnant, nice hotel near water, overcast & cool weather. and in a lot of ways, this year, this anniversary... it’s different.
FALL FEST 2020!
faces of the very tired, very happy organizers of the first ever Fall Festival at The Grounds 1488.
we ended up with 2000ish (number yet to be confirmed!) people through and the day was AMAZING
Matthias keeps telling me he’s so proud of me and it makes me feel all the big feelings
we’re all relieved today was a success and now it’s time for some much needed rest. I have YL work through November since I’m working towards Platinum, but I feel really called to take December allllll the way off. I’m listening to that small voice and clearing my calendar instead of packing it like I have the bad habit of doing, especially around the holidays. here’s to whatever is next
Magic
These days... this weekend. I won’t be able to find all the right words for a while. For now what comes to mind... a whirlwind... a lot... and magic. Except for the getting up early part. That isn’t magic.
witchy whimsy
I went and bought a big black pointy hat for the festival. I’ve never admired witches or wanted to dress up as one, but I want a way to stand out Saturday. Being a witch with the biggest, pointiest hat and a 23 week baby belly seems like it’ll do the trick.
I picture a vendor inquiring... “hey where’s the coordinator?” and somebody pointing across the field saying, “it’s that witch over there.” I’ll never know if that situation actually happens, of course, but that’s what I imagine. So a big pointy hat it is. 
We’ve been working on this festival since March. We’ve had weekly meetings since March, actually. We kept trying to do something sooner, but, like many things in 2020, plans had to be held loosely because of... everything.
When we finally decided on a FALL festival, we named it “The North Woodlands Festival” so people would know exactly where it was. The north side of The Woodlands on 1488. And then we got a cease and desist letter for using “The Woodlands” in our title. It makes me laugh. Well... “Fall Festival at The Grounds 1488” will have to do. as of right now, our attendee count is at 655. Online tickets close at noon tomorrow... I wonder if we’ll break 700 before then.
Hopeful
Nothing special to say. Just tired and excited and hopeful and ready for Saturday so I can feel the high of months of work coming together.
Beginnings
i love beginnings.
I love watching people embark on journeys, pick up new hobbies, start businesses, invest in learning new skill sets. I am the person cheering on the sidelines,
keep it up! you’ve got this!
you’re doing an honorable thing and it will be worth your time!
just keep going!
don’t give up!
but time and again, I find myself annoyed at me having to be beginner at things. I want to do _______ (whatever has currently captured my imagination) and I want to do it with excellence NOW.
There is something humbling and vulnerable about wanting something or wanting to be able to do something and being terrible at that thing. It’s always worth it though, isn’t it?
And it makes life more special to have stories of beginnings and failures before victories. And I don’t just mean for big things, either. Humble beginnings are not just worth it for the wild dreams that work out, or the large, successful businesses.
There is magic in the little beginnings, little things, there is magic in beginnings of adventures that aren’t even meant for a lifetime. The first loaf of sourdough bread. The painting that didn’t turn out like expected. The piano piece that doesn’t sound right yet.
Reminding myself of the magic of beginnings, because I want to be a person brave enough to always be starting something new. Even if it means being terrible for a time.
(check out eliot’s smirk with his mouthful from this chunk of our first sourdough. ❤️)
Friday evening
five years ago (tomorrow) Matthias & I had the conversation that changed everything. “let’s just get married next weekend.” from infatuation to deep bond & intimacy, a gift of time.
tonight we get to spend our Friday evening next to each other in bed, dreaming & doing while Eliot sleeps lightly in his room. it’s ordinary, it’s perfect.
there’s nowhere I’d rather be.
skipping dishes
if adulthood isn’t for giving yourself permission to procrastinate on dishes to take photos in the yummiest afternoon light in your kitchen, then what’s the point?
laptop woes
I’m not proud of this, but these are little journal entries of life, so I’ll just be real here. I called Matthias crying this morning - and maybe yelling a bit😅 - about how I was *this* close to dumping my laptop in a toilet. Refusing to turn on, moving like molasses, screen randomly going black. Ugh. No one has time to fight their technology, but especially in this season, I need more reliability. 😫 I constantly joke about how my laptop is older than our marriage. Ok, we haven’t been married that long - but 5 years for a laptop is a lot, especially when it’s been used thousands and thousandsss of hours. It’s been through my busiest wedding seasons and traveled through 19 countries with us. It deserves to go into retirement. Matthias is helping me wipe it clean and retire it from my full time workhorse to something I use only as-needed. We started looking for “what’s next” and I’ve landed on the iPad Pro 12.9 with the Magic keyboard. Am I making a mistake? Somebody better tell me before tomorrow because we’re planning on buying it since it’ll be on sale for Prime Day. 🤣 Alexis Houston raves about hers and we’re similar/work similar jobs so I feel like it’ll be acceptable now that I don’t constantly need access to LR + PS for editing.
the art barn
Shona is doing an incredible job prepping this barn for the art gallery that’ll be running the weekend of the festival. My guys are sick. I drove Eliot around for a long time today so he’d sleep... he’s been fighting it since he’s having trouble breathing and he neeeeeds the rest. Matthias went to his parents for a while to get in a nap undisturbed since Eliot is a loud, busy handful and if we’re all home together it’s hard to rest. I guess he could’ve just slept at home while we drove around, but I didn’t think of that until after 😆 I’m so grateful I haven’t come down with whatever is going around. If I have a turn, hopefully at least they’re both completely better before it begins😅
Also, 21 weeks pregnant today.
I love you, emerson knox.
October 9th, 2020
“that’s too moody for all the color.” - Matthias ... and that’s how we ended up with this in black and white. 🤪
in my favorite pajamas (and I’m like 99.9% sure they were passed down from my Aunt Richi) and in the chair that makes me happiest, a gift from my grandparents.
another day of forgetting to take the daily photo until we’re getting ready for bed, but still making it work. ✌🏼
Journaling
You know that feeling when you’re on a long trip and you dream of being home? And you pull out your journal and write out all the things you want to do and what your life and days will be like when you’re back? The structure. The emotions. The intention. That feels really good.
We haven’t been on a long trip recently, but needed a reset so I dropped Eliot off with my mom on a Friday afternoon and went somewhere I never go, ordered an unfamiliar drink, read a book, then journaled. Journaled like I was far away and planning to come home to an empty schedule that I could fill however I wanted. What would my ideal days look like? I’m completely in charge of my time... if something I want is different than how I’m living, why? The exercise is refreshing and I feel I have more clarity on what to say “yes” to as we move into this new season.
tumblr vibes
while I’ve changed significantly in the past 10 years, my taste in photographs really has not. I’m 26 and still enjoy & take the types of photographs that inspired me (thanks tumblr) at 16. the hardest thing about darker + more quiet photos is the sharing. I cringe at myself when I want to publicly share something dramatic. 😅 I’d rather make a joke. “I’m just a drama mama.” it feels easier that way, because if people are going to laugh, well, I laughed first. I’m still learning how to lean in rather than avoid or make jokes.
I like this picture. I like the light & shadows.
there, progress.
picnicking 🧺
I got the cutest gift in the mail and it makes me sooo happy. 🥺💕 I’ve wanted a picnic basket set like this for years, but didn’t want to settle for a cheap version and just never pulled the trigger. Young Living gifted this just for doing my job. (They always give gifts to anyone who helps 2 or 4 people with their Young Living accounts in a month, so I’m not special, just lucky to work for the best company ever.) if you need me, I’ll just be here endlessly picnicking.
Lovely little ordinary things
Woke up excited & thinking about fall foods & trying new things. Often I write down what I want my life to look like and feel like and it re-visit it to keep me on track. It’s easy to get distracted or lost in the mundane. Or to forget that a lot of times it is exactly the things that may feel insignificant that make up the magic of life if I’ll let them. Washing fresh carrots, making coffee, opening the blinds to let the morning honey light spill onto our floors, warming bottles for Eliot. Little lovely things that add up to a happy life.
Nursery
Eliot is wigglyyyy in church, so we decided to try the nursery today again. He’s so happy when I’m in there with him, but I wanted to enjoy church with Matthias so I left him. Ugh. My heart! I pleaded with the ladies working — “text me if he’s upset.” I can’t imagine him being in there sobbing missing me while I’m unaware. 🥺
it stresses me out to the point I can’t pay attention. Maybe it’s a first child thing. Maybe it’ll never go away. He lasted about 15 minutes before I got a text “Eliot needs Mommy” and he came back to sit with us.
He’s talking over the pastor with all his little baby noises and loves eating puffs or a pouch or having a bottle during the sermon, but other than those distractions, I feel like he’s a really content baby and does well in a large, quiet room. I’m happy to sit with my baby. I’m grateful to be in church with my little family.