I love the idea of teaching my boys to enjoy an intentionally creative life. I want a home that encourages experiments, failures, art, any pursuits that my boys want. I want that for myself too.

But…to be totally honest… the messiness of it all keeps me from a lot of those adventures. Creativity is not a tidy event. (Is anything worth doing actually a tidy event?😂) I allow myself to get so stressed in the middle of the journey, in the middle of the mess.

I don’t like being inside a mess. 😅

(Oh, and I hate the idea of somebody dropping over while I’m in the middle of a literal one.)

So while I love the idea of an intentional creative life, I find that I live out that I value cleanliness over creative pursuit. And now that I’ve recognized that in myself, I hate it.

I don’t want to choose a clean dining room table over one full of stories and memories of trying and failing, learning and growing, making, together. I don’t want to choose a clean home over my boys outrageous imaginations and a world of possibilities. I’m working on that this year. Letting the mess happen, knowing I value other things more than just tidy.

Ps. Someone tell me why I paid $50 for Emerson to look like Tipo from Emperor’s New Groove. I should’ve cut his hair myself.